Two things that Professor Ivers said caught my attention. One is how the ought self and the real self affects self-esteem. The closer your real self is to the self (ought self) your culture expects you to be the higher your self-esteem. Whereas the greater the difference between the ought self and real self the lower a person's self-esteem will be.
The other thing is how most people tend to conform to the stereotypes that exist in their culture. Some are race-based, such that if you are reminded of your race prior to doing something then you psychologically and unconsciously will adjust your performance to conform to the relevant stereotypes.
I do not consider myself to have low self-esteem although there are times when I put myself down and count myself a failure for the way aspects of my life have turned out. Beyond this, there are expectations, some of which I would guess are cultural, for which my life doesn't conform and this leads me to a feeling of failure or that I don't have a place within society and/or my culture.
I have two adult children still living with me when my culture expects them to have already moved out. I am divorced and still single in a church culture that focuses on the family to the extent that to be unmarried means to not be able to reach the full potential God wants me to reach and I have aged out of the singles branches that the church has which generally are broken into two groups of age 18 to 30 and 31 to 45 leaving out singles who are older than that.
In the United States, I feel there is an expectation that a working person's income generally increases until the time they retire. In my case, my income peaked in 2012 (at age 45) and has declined since then. I currently earn about 10 percent of what I earned at my peak. In the United States, there is no financial help for someone like me who changes careers to avoid becoming disabled. I left the computer industry to avoid losing the use of my hands due to carpal tunnel syndrome and the pain it can cause. I am currently a farmer who worked in dining services to earn money during the offseason.
I did not mean to make this post so much about me and I certainly don't want anyone reading it to feel bad for me as I am doing fine in spite of these challenges but in many cultures, including the United States, it is expected that a person works for a living or else suffer becoming homeless. I have a dim view of such a capitalist system.
Anyway, in the classroom, a teacher that understands the cultural expectations of their students and the real self of their students will be in a much better position to help their students. Especially when those cultural expectations are irrational.
Robert, I appreciate that you shared part of your story with us. I think these kinds of personal experiences will only make you a better teacher when your students go through similar experiences. I was so caught up in thinking about my Mexican-American culture I failed to remember that our Church has a culture all of its own. I have seen friends struggle with some of the "oughts" that they feel they have fallen short of in our church. It is tough to feel like you're not living up to some standard that has been set, even if it is unrealistic or unnecessary. So thank you for sharing how this lesson applied to you personally. I appreciated it.
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